Album Series IV

When I open my album after many years, I recall the emotions I experienced at that time. That was the first feeling I ever had for someone. I never knew the event would happen with me that day. It was uncertain and spontaneous. After a few days, I confirmed that I loved someone sincerely. A few months later, a nameless person was on my right, and we were finally in love. 

The start of Romance

The management felt the distributions of girls in sections were not uniform. I was in class 10C. I never knew who would join and leave my class. Few boys were adjusted to Section D, and few girls joined my class. Finally the class was set with a comparable number of boys and girls. 

Class romance is usually a disastrous idea. I couldn’t control my feelings that time. The moment of her entrance, her short hair beautifully cut, a few books in her hand, and her shy demeanor captured my heart. The beam of her beautiful, humble face distracts my attention in the class, yet I wasn’t overwhelmed with the feelings. 

Since then it has been an affliction of my brain. But my priority was only studying, and whenever I got spare time, I thought of her and enjoyed her moves during social work. Intervals were my best time to fascinate her and think further. It was tough talking to friends about her. Finally, a good friend helped me learn her name and background. 

Image from Google~ pardon me!

Her name was K… W… she was from the northern part of Tashigang, yet not far north. At the very end I knew everything about her. 

Finally, it was time for me to let her know. To propose to a girl face-to-face, carrying loads of feeling, is simply a thought. Never in real life could I face it. The commonest and best was to write a sweet epistle and send it to a friend covertly. 

Finally, I did write a few sentences in a letter. The only content I remember is my remark to reply soon. A week went by waiting for a reply. One fine Saturday night, it was a moment of joy. I got her reply, and we were united. She loved me, and I loved her. Our hearts were manacled. She was my first love. 

Within a few weeks, it was time for departure. I could not believe it. But I had to face the reality. She was far away from me; however, she felt so close when I read her committed letters. Reminiscing about her was my obligation. 

Losing one's first love was a painful experience. I was astray by the loss of my love. I am pleased to be her friend, and she is the mother of a child.

Time apprise feelings,

Eternal love shalt prevail. 

To Dear Kinzang (It is not to hurt you)

This is not to hurt you, my dear... I love you. 

Respected Miss I'll say,

How do you do these days? I believe you are doing well, training productively, and are destined to succeed. And I pray for the success of your profession as a teacher. Be prepared to generate the best future citizens of the nation.

Here I am fine, and everything is in excellent health except my mental outlook. Anything more will destroy the atmosphere for the professionals. Let me not stop to say this about you and your very excellent character!!! Again, though it will spoil your blissful mood, I am now in the destined position to convey it. Sweet and bitter are my past. Everything changes on the road of life, but when we look behind, we label our past with memories. God knows what might happen next and our reason to be in this world. Yes! Our life is like a river. We are uncertain about the numerous ups and downs we will encounter. Whatever happens, the only certainty is that memories are left behind. Nature dictates that we are born and depart. When we leave this world, we should leave behind good memories. BUT...............

2005, 7th October, was fine. 2006 was also fine. 2007 was a bit fine. 2008 was the most challenging year. 7th October, 2005, was the year when I achieved two goals. First, I stood in third position in tenth standard; I aimed for that. Secondly, I aspired to have you as my closest friend. Time had passed like that for one year, 2006; class XI Science, you at Baylling and me at Rangjung, approximately 150 km away. Nothing bad happened. XII Science, 2007: very busy with deeply integrated books. We were both worried about the final (BBE) exams. On 1st December 2007, we had common exams. Results were declared. My happiest jiffy was on that day, when I didn't sleep hours of darkness. I got a professional course in a professional country. In the year 2008, my hard work paid off, and I was accepted into engineering courses. But due to my security problem, I couldn't grab an opportunity to study in-country either. How sad!!! In 2009, it's not my hard work that counts, but the reward is the gift from GOD (Ken Chok Sum). I got to be a member of the CST family. I don't exalt myself.

My heart is, was, and will always be with you. For those simple reasons, you suspected me. I'm uncertain about the extent of my explanations and the degree to which you will comprehend them. You said, "Once you make a decision, it remains that way." It may be right or wrong. I explained the situation to you, but it was futile. From this, I understood that you have been waiting for this chance to come and break off relations with me. In the name of my beloved God, I reassure you that I possess no flaws that anyone could exploit. And I don't have a relationship with any girls. Please let me know how much water is needed for the upside-down pot. Since you have decided to end the relationship with me, it's always exact and wise.

You have an affair with others. You told me. My simple advice in this regard is, "One who touches your heart will never touch your body, and one who touches your body will never touch your heart." Please remember it.

with her friends!

Additionally, I encourage you to consider acknowledging your mistakes. Don't always go around alleging others. To this day, my thoughts are always with you, and they will remain so forever. A lover departs, but their love never departs. Since you have decided to end our relationship, I must accept your decision. I have heard much unwanted and unbearable news of you while you were at Baylling and currently where you are. Even then I didn't tell you, thinking it wouldn't be true; I never expected it from you, and it would severely hurt you. But today I can't bear the burden that you have given. You never consider how others suffer. You only understand the extent of your suffering. My mind never stays cool. It's hot and boiling. In the vapor of my boiling mind, I visualized what I have heard about you. Firstly, I was told that you have an affair with other guys. Not guy, guys. One you have expressed to me. There were and will be many.

Secondly, I was told, "Please leave that type of sexually abused girl; she is of no use." How great! Oh! GOD. How dare it have to snoop? Many guys touch your body, I was informed. Even so, I remained calm, believing that it might not be entirely true. I have never hated or neglected you. Instead, how great! This lack of communication, coupled with suspicion, has ruined everything. Though I am not a psychologist, one thing I have learned is that I have accepted my fault for not calling. After exposing all these reasons, you pressured me to break the relationship. That means what I have heard was all true, and that is why you have not sent your photos, saying that it's summer and the river has swollen. What I have heard was all true, and that is and will be your moral character as a teacher. When I tell you all this, please, I request, do not get frustrated, as anger is only self-demolition.

When I meet my friends, they all ask me about the relationship between you and me. What can I or will I tell? The moment I heard words about you, my eyes filled with tears. It's very embarrassing. What to do? In love, I am not It was weak to sacrifice my tears. Once upon a time, your good character toward me was praised by everybody. That's the reason why I have not believed what I have heard. However, "LOW JAPHU TAE RUNG JAPHU TOEM" and "LOW TAE ME ME GE HING KU" refer to you. Frankly speaking, you are a coward, thae goap thae tsharwa dalu, and there is no point in thinking and regretting.

I am sending you your letters and all other items. It's not to hurt you. It's useless to keep it. It only brings sadness and causes tears. I am keeping your gifts and photos as a long remembrance. One thing I want to tell you regarding this issue: please... do not throw my photos in the dustbin. Instead, you please... burn it.

Anyhow, I end here and say, "Best wishes and good luck getting thousands of stars. You aim carefully and shoot it. Please... I tell you, in mercy, not to let your excellent story end like the true story of "FLY AND THE SPIDER."

So, lastly, I end here with lots of best wishes and good luck for having a very successful life ahead.

Yours truly,  



Sangay Duba
Asst. Chemist (Quality Control)
S.D Eastern BHutan Fesi (P) Ltd
Phuntsho Rabtenling (Plantsite)
S/Jongkhar