If I aM a GiRl

If I am a girl, my mercy story would be…. My first time wasn't what you would call romantic. I was 15 or very young years old, a beautiful, simple and loving girl in school, and had very low self esteem. I had a boyfriend. Sure we talked, but it wasn't much different from how I talked to my best guy friend. In fact I was probably closer to my best guy friend than I was with my boyfriend.

But everything changed when I met this guy. He was in my 3rd period class and like me was kind of socially awkward. So I decided to be bold and introduce myself. Or a guy came and proposes me. A couple days or month later he texted me and invited me to lunch. I was surprised at first because he was a senior and seniors rarely dated freshmen at first instant. I was also hesitant because I had a boyfriend. But I came to the conclusion that it wasn't a big deal. I was just going to lunch with a friend, nothing wrong with that right? I gave a thought. But that lunch led to more little "dates". He was so sweet to me, telling me I looked pretty, gently taking my hand when ever he got the chance. He was the boyfriend I always wanted- cute and sweet- I was very happy with him. After a couple months things began to change. Instead of going places for lunch we just walked to my house which was just down the bazaar from the school and make out. Making out soon led to other things, things I'd never done before and things that I definitely wasn't emotionally ready for. Then one day it just happened. We had sex during our lunch hour and then just went back to school like nothing had happened. I started crying in class overwhelmed by what had just happened and wishing it hadn't. I tried to comfort myself by thinking stuff like "A lot of girls do that, it's no big deal" and "I love him, that should make it okay." 

I really did love him. More than anyone on the planet. But that just made it so much more painful when he decided he didn't want me anymore. At school he slowly began to pull away, he didn't talk to me very much and at times it seemed like it went to great lengths to avoid me. I was hurt but I wouldn't give up, so I pretended like it wasn't happening. When my friends asked me what was up between us I would just smile and act like everything was just fine. It wasn't until a couple weeks afterwards that I realized I had to let him go. But I refused to look like a weak silly love-struck girl (even though I was) so I sent him and email telling him he was a moron and many other words that I probably shouldn't mention.

For months I cried myself to sleep over him. I still loved him with all my heart but now he didn't speak to me or even look at me. After months of depression, I was finally able to let go and be happy again. I would later find out that the guy I loved so much wasn't who I thought he was. He had tons of girlfriends and had slept with every one of them. After he finally got a girl to sleep with him he always dumped them. I wasn't alone and that some how gave me peace. There were other girls that knew my pain. I met one of his other girlfriends and the similarities between us were astonishing! We were shy, fair-haired, and tall and both determined not to let this insignificant boy ruin our lives. We've become very good friends.

 I write this to get sympathy for who has come across such. There are many girls who are victimized by pitiless boys. You are the one who had sex, you are the one that have to pay for your mistake, and to ask for sympathy would be just silly. I wrote this to urge young girl who are very beautiful, charming like an angel to know that they have so much value. And listening to some of my friends, such stories make me feel sympathy. Please don't give yourself to the first boy that seems to love you. Make sure you really know someone before you decide to have sex. Remember that you are a gift that only a very special person deserves.

Good Luck…!!!