To Dear Kinzang (It is not to hurt you)

This is not to hurt you, my dear... I love you. 

Respected Miss I'll say,

How do you do these days? I believe you are doing well, training productively, and are destined to succeed. And I pray for the success of your profession as a teacher. Be prepared to generate the best future citizens of the nation.

Here I am fine, and everything is in excellent health except my mental outlook. Anything more will destroy the atmosphere of the professionals. Let me not stop to say about you and your very excellent characters!!! Again, though it will spoil your blissful mood, I am now in the destined position to convey it. Sweet and bitter is my past. Everything changes on the road of life, but when we look behind, we label our past with memories. God knows what might happen next and our reason to be in this world. Yes! Our life is like a river. We are uncertain about the numerous ups and downs we will encounter. Whatever happens, the only certainty is that memories are left behind. Nature dictates that we are born and depart.  When we leave this world, we should leave behind good memories. BUT...............

2005, 7th October was fine. 2006 was also fine. 2007 was a bit fine. 2008 was the most challenging year.  7th October, 2005, was the year when I achieved two goals. First, I stood in third position in tenth standard: I aimed for that. Secondly, I aspired to have you as my closest friend. Time had passed like that for one year, 2006; class XI Science, you at Baylling and me at Rangjung, approximately 150 km away. Nothing bad happened. XII Science, 2007: very busy with deeply integrated books. We were both worried about the final (BBE) exams. On 1st December, 2007, we had common exams. Results were declared. My happiest jiffy was on that day, where I didn't sleep hours of darkness. I got a professional course in a professional country. In the year 2008, my hard work paid off, and I was accepted into engineering courses. But due to my security problem, I couldn't grab an opportunity to study in-country either. How sad!!! In 2009, it's not my hard work that counts, but the reward is the gift from GOD (Ken Chok Sum). I got to be a member of the CST Family. I don't exalt myself.

My heart is, was, and will always be with you. For those simple reasons, you suspected me. I'm uncertain about the extent of my explanations and the degree to which you will comprehend them. You said, "Once you make a decision, it remains that way." It may be right or wrong. I explained the situation to you, but it was futile. From this, I understood that you have been waiting for this chance to come and break relations with me. In the name of my beloved God, I reassure you that I possess no flaws that anyone could exploit. And I don't have a relationship with any girls. Please let me know how much water is needed for the upside-down pot. Since you have decided to end the relationship with me, it's always exact and wise.

You have an affair with others. You told me. My simple advice in this regard is, "One who touches your heart will never touch your body, and one who touches your body will never touch your heart."  Please remember it.

with her friends!

Additionally, I encourage you to consider acknowledging your own mistakes. Don't always go for alleging others. To this day, my thoughts are always with you, and they will remain so forever. A lover departs, but their love never departs. Since you have decided to end our relationship, I must accept your decision. I have heard much unwanted and unbearable news of you while you were at Baylling and currently where you are. Even then I didn't tell you, thinking it wouldn't be true, I never expected it from you, and it would severely hurt you. But today I can't bear the burden that you have given. You never consider how others suffer. You only understand the extent of your own suffering. My mind never stays cool. It's hot and boils. In the vapor of my boiling mind, I visualized what I have heard about you. Firstly, I was told that you have an affair with other guys. Not guy, guys. One you have expressed to me. There were and will be many.

Secondly, I was told, "Please leave that type of sexually abused girl; she is of no use." How great! Oh! GOD. How dare it have to snoop? Many guys touch your body, I was informed. Even so, I remained calm, believing that it might not be entirely true. I have never hated or neglected you. Instead, how great! This lack of communication, coupled with suspicion, has ruined everything. Though I am not a psychologist, one thing that I have learned is that I have accepted my fault of not calling. After exposing all these reasons you pressured me to break the relationship, that means what I have heard was all true, and that is why you have not sent your photos, saying that it's summer and the river has swollen. What I have heard was all true, and that is and will be your moral character as a teacher. When I tell you all this, please, I request, do not get frustrated, as anger is only a self-demolition.

When I meet my friends, they all ask me about the relationship between you and me. What can I or will I tell? The moment I heard words about you, my eyes filled with tears. It's very embarrassing. What to do? In love, I am not That was weak to sacrifice my tears. Once upon a time, everybody praised your good character toward me. That's the reason why I have not believed what I have heard. But "LOW JAPHU TAE RUNG JAPHU TOEM" and LOW TAE ME ME GE HING KU" are you. Frankly speaking, you are a coward, thae goap thae tsharwa dalu, and there is no point in thinking and regretting.

I am sending you your letters and all other items. It's not to hurt you. It's useless to keep it. It only brings sadness and causes tears. I am keeping your gifts and photos as a long remembrance. One thing I want to tell you regarding this: please... do not throw my photos in the dustbin. Instead, you please... burn it.

Anyhow, I end here and say, "Best wishes and good luck to get thousands of stars. You aim it carefully and shoot it. Please... I tell you, in mercy, not to let your good story end like the true story of "FLY AND THE SPIDER."

So, lastly, I end here with lots of best wishes and good luck for having a very successful life ahead.

Yours truly,  



Sangay Duba
Asst. Chemist (Quality Control)
S.D Eastern BHutan Fesi (P) Ltd
Phuntsho Rabtenling (Plantsite)
S/Jongkhar