ལྷག་གནང་མི་ལུ་བཀྲིན་ལེགས་སོ་ཡོད།།

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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Bully

A child who has to endure bullying usually suffers from low self-esteem and their ability to learn and be successful at school is dramatically lessened.

I shared this simple idea with my teacher friend once upon a time without posting here. 

Many a times I felt as if I am doing right thing and we should be doing right thing instead. Our life gears around doing right and wrong thing. Among 100 circumstances, 90 of them are created by our own. And 10 of them can be earthquake, hurricane, vehicle accident etc… that are natural and happens once in a blue moon. 

We aren’t born liar! We aren’t born bully! We aren’t born rich. We aren’t born wrong doers! We are born as human to rich and poor family. The background is diverse but we are born with same mind, the mind that possesses fear, courage and mercy. We must have cried for another infant's cry when we were newborn. The children will offer unsolicited help to adults who appear to be struggling to reach something. Babies will also show a distinct preference for adults who help rather than hinder others. 

Therefore it is important that we teach our kid the right thing. And we should ask why students in school bully? What is the main reason behind their mischief? Are these students born bullies? Are this students lag morals from parents? Or is it the character building yet not started for them?

The bully is not only common among students. Now it is encroaching between teacher- students and teacher – parents. Last year in Thimphu, a teacher simply tapped the back of student. The student informed his parents and father of the boy bashed the teacher. It is the severest bully of the entire. 

And if this is the situation, Could teachers step in and stop the bullying? Could parents do more to curtail bad behavior? Or could preventive measures have been started years ago, in early childhood, long before bullies emerged and started heaping abuse on their peers?

If we don’t act now our education system will gear around bullying. Moving from primary to secondary school, secondary school to college can be scary – new surroundings, new teachers and, for many, a whole new friendship group. It's also a time when bullying reaches a peak and young people feel at their most vulnerable, meaning they can need lots of support.

A child who has to endure bullying usually suffers from low self-esteem and their ability to learn and be successful at school is dramatically lessened. He/she will be traumatized. Schools and parents must educate children about bullying behaviors; it will help all children feel safe and secure at school. Children who bully need to be taught empathy for others’ feelings in order to change their behaviors and the school must adopt a zero-tolerance policy regarding bullying.

The best and most obvious way to stop bullying in schools is for parents to change the way they parent their children at home. Of course, this is much easier said than done and everyone parents their children differently. Bullies, however, come from homes where physical punishment is used and children have been taught that physical violence is the way to handle problems and get their way.

Bullies usually also come from homes where the parents fight a lot, so violence has been modeled for them. Parental involvement often is lacking in bullies’ lives and there seems to be little warmth.

2 comments:

  1. I agree with you about the schools adopting zero tolerance, this is how we deal with bullying in Canada... I find we as parents have to keep the communication opened with our children so that when someone does bully them that they feel comfortable coming to us. Otherwise they will suffer in silence until the bully is caught some other way...

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